4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
