You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
