and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
