We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
false alarm. still invincible.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
