Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
