I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
