# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Duck Duck Cougar?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
