Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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