At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
