Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
