You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
