This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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