Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
