After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
