I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
