I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
