does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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