I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
