nut hugger
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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