eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
