I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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