so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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