yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
