Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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