in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
