i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You ate ashes out of my bong
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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