nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
