It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
