I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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