Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
