i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
