I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
