Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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