pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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