I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
