if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
