It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
