i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
