You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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