she was so not down for the gang bang
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
