so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
