she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
