im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
