What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
