when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
