so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
