I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
