I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
