in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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