Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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